❤

2009-12-28T19:33:00.002+08:00

MY DATE WAS DISTURBED SO I'M DAMN PISSED OFF.

"Remember how we joked about being together though it's impossible"

ARE YOU BLIND OR SOMETHING? YOU GOT SUCH A GOOD BOYFRIEND WHO CAN DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU, WHAT THE FUCK MORE DO YOU WANT?

YOU SAY YOU DON'T LIKE, HE END THINGS. WHAT THE FUCK MORE YOU WANT?

I'M BLOODY DEVOTED TO MY BOYFRIEND AND ONLY MY BOYFRIEND.

YES, I DO ADMIRE YOUR BOYFRIEND. I REALLY TREAT HIM AS A BROTHER AND ONLY A BROTHER, NOTHING BLOODY MORE THAN THAT. WHAT ARE YOU UNHAPPY WITH?

FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY, I LOST SOMEONE SO IMPORTANT TO ME. I PREDICT READING TILL HERE YOU SHOULD BE ANGRY AND WANNA KICK HIS BALLS FOR TELLING ME. BY ALL MEANS.

IF YOU THINK YOU WANT TO STIR MORE TROUBLE FOR YOUR SERIOUSLY GOD-DAMN-BLOODY GOOD BOYFRIEND AND MAKE HIM TIRE, BY ALL MEANS.

I'M NOT GOING TO DELETE MY POST OR APOLOGISE IF THINGS GOT MESSY BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND. ME AND MY BOYFRIEND WILL STILL BE LOVING AS ALWAYS.

PERIOD.

2009-12-24T12:37:00.001+08:00

Below is part of a conversation between me, my sis, and HT.
(and u realise my sis turned into a bootlicker. MAN.)

*background: was talking about going to marcus's house for xmas*

J♥lene ; says (12:19 PM):
*pk "zhen de meh? ta kan dao mei nv jiu hui bao qi wo, then wo jiu gu ku ling ding yi ge ren"
-hotat says (12:21 PM):
*ht " zai wo yan li ni jiu shi ge mei nv ar..
*lol!!
J♥lene ; says (12:23 PM):
*pk "wen ta ji dian yao kan dao wo"
-hotat says (12:24 PM):
*right away~
*haha
*but i no car yet
-hotat says (12:25 PM):
*i get my ferrari jiu fly go see her le
J♥lene ; says (12:25 PM):
*-.-
*she say 'huh ta xue hui liao?"
-hotat says (12:26 PM):
*xue hui wad?
*driving?
*lol
J♥lene ; says (12:26 PM):
*ya
-hotat says (12:26 PM):
*hiyo
*pass like8765456787654 yrs ago la
-hotat says (12:27 PM):
*so on ar.. i text her when i leaving house
J♥lene ; says (12:27 PM):
*u driving her there?
-hotat says (12:28 PM):
*yup
J♥lene ; says (12:29 PM):
*she say she may go out first then go there?
*u wan be her cai ke fu shi ji?
-hotat says (12:31 PM):
*wad's cai ke fu shi ji siol
*lol
*she gg whr?
J♥lene ; says (12:32 PM):
*i dreamt of me failing chinese BADLY few days ago while my sis ace it...
*she going bugis watch movie with her frens..
-hotat says (12:32 PM):
*lol! u haven get back yr chi results mehs?
J♥lene ; says (12:32 PM):
*"fang xin la, na li mei you shuai ke, even have you also zui shuai de la'
-hotat says (12:32 PM):
*wa, den wad time she coming over?
J♥lene ; says (12:32 PM):
*WALAO
J♥lene ; says (12:33 PM):
*how come she more and more noe how to pai ma pi
*zz
-hotat says (12:33 PM):
*wa.. don lidat lei, i will shy de lehs
*lol
J♥lene ; says (12:33 PM):
*she say tis is not pai ma pi, she dun do tis to everyone, only HT
*zzz
*WOW
*i shld blog
-hotat says (12:34 PM):
*wa!! oh my
*tell her i go bugis fetch her
*lol

2009-12-22T23:34:00.004+08:00

Dedicated to the second most important guy of my life. (other than daddy)

It had been almost a year.

Remember my first impression of you;
Remember how we first talked;
Remember how I looked forward to us being in the same class;
Remember how close we got;
Remember how people thought we're an item;
Remember how we used to talked all night;
Remember how we first argued;
Remember how you can't tahan anymore and kept calling back when I hanged up on you;
Remember how you made me smile even when I'm throwing unreasonable tanturms;
Remember how we skipped lessons together and played basketball;
Remember how we joked about being together though it's impossible;
Remember how things turned out and stayed the way it was;
Remember how we can come out with the same words/actions together.

You have always been one of those whom I will think of and turn to when I'm feeling down, you never failed to be there. You have always been someone I know I can trust and keep my secrets safe with.

I feel sad, I want to whine, but for I would think the same as her, I should understand.

I am truely happy with you around for the past year, Thanks for everything you've done. (:

Thank you, korkor

2009-12-04T23:15:00.003+08:00

你祖奶奶我心情很好，所以上雅虎找了一些杏仁照片，打算与大家分享一下。(Today my mood very good, so I went yahoo and found some almond photos, planning to share with everyone - pardon the SINGLISH)

possible shapes of almond eyes.

pretty girl with almond eyes.

pretty lady with almond eyes.

OH. Know what?

.
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CATS have almond eyes too! AND THEY ARE DARN PRETTY!

Almond eyes are pretty, NO?

By the way, since when did I mention I'm pretty? I didn't even say I'm good looking before! Are you trying to mean I'm not good looking but with pretty eyes? YOU CAN PHRASE IT NICER!

Anyway, I realised usually only ugly people will comment this sort of nasty things(:

Reason 1 : These people are usually green with envious tagging like this means they can hide behind the screen for all they want so they won't be exposed as they can conveniently use fake names and their ugly photos won't be found too!

Reason 2 : They can find reinforcement(s) easier. You know, sometimes when you need people to back you to spam and etc. YUP.

Below are reinforcements from my side.

1)
J♥lene ; says (10:35 PM):
*i findin pic of almond eyes

j-jacelynn says (10:35 PM):
*she jealous isit

J♥lene ; says (10:35 PM):
*i tink so too
*usuali pretty ppl wun tag lik tis

j-jacelynn says (10:35 PM):
*i oso think so

2)
3rd[張飛益德]-Holden™ 我一掌劈开天跟着我去冒险关不住的梦想就要起飞在我的心里面完美就要更完美谁都不能改变 says (10:40 PM):
*relax la!!!
*must be she jealous la
*98%

(he actually helped me to fb the name)

3)
Jason ‡™© » ¶µ says (10:39 PM):
*aiyah, then probably is those who spam makeup create artificial face one la
*so bitchy, go ppl blog say ugly -.-

Oh well, I'm not going to ban you, I'll be waiting for you to show my readers how pretty are you! (:

2009-12-02T01:26:00.001+08:00

Been sleeping at about 3am daily since holiday starts. OH MAN. I need to turn my body clock back. Seriously.

Life's so and so.

Introducing,

a very good conditioner for screwed-up hair!

And, I'm pathetically charging my pixon via usb cable now -.-

***

♥

2009-11-21T01:20:00.002+08:00

SE SATIO

Nokia N97

does Christmas or my bday sounds near to you? no?

2009-11-06T23:59:00.000+08:00

happy 19th ahhueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

*brb*

2009-11-05T00:00:00.001+08:00

Happy 19th birthday, YS!

*watch this space again too*

//sidenote : nov is a busy busy busy month. Be there tomorrow and you will know why...

2009-11-04T00:00:00.001+08:00

Happy 19th birthday, NAHNAH~

*watch this space, I will edit sooon*

2009-10-27T09:50:00.001+08:00

I came to this space at this hour with a heavy heart. I started the post with "Yes, and you stop rubbing your eyes, I'm back. I don't know how many people are still reading my blog, but I'm back finally." I wrote about 3 paragraphs. In the end, I chose to save it as draft.

It's ok. Nobody understands anyway (:

2009-09-19T16:36:00.001+08:00

Change of blog skin like finally after 9876543234561 years.

old blog skin:

new blog skin:

I'm very very very happy with the blog skin now! ^^
(but that doesn't mean I will blog more often)

Baby changed new spec due to his carelessness to step on the old one -.-

VERY CHIO RIGHT???!!! (inserts tons of hearts)

And, notice I haven't been plurking? I freezed the karma points so that I don't need to sign in every night to plurk just to not let the points drop :/

Oh. Did I mention math paper on thursday was a killer? No? Did I mention I changed new phone? No? Temporarily use only anyway, but the phone is such a b!tch somehow ><

K, whatever, I'm off to prepare to meet love for dinner then dance concert together with J, D and three others! XD

2009-09-09T00:36:00.000+08:00

The below made me laugh like dunno what at 12mn!!!

*click to enlarge to get a better view*

Ok, if it doesn't make you laugh, it's either you never see properly or you're stupid. XD

On a side note, I'm done with my new blog skin, just lazy to post.

And it's a veryveryvery x 100000000000000000000000000000000 rare for me to blog, so TAG ME TO SHOW THERE'RE STILL PEOPLE READING!

okay, till then!

2009-08-31T23:52:00.000+08:00

August is not a good month.

September is exam month.

I'm in the process of changing my blog skin (:

Till then!

2009-07-05T00:15:00.002+08:00

2YEARS AGO.
1) How old were you?
* 17

2) Where did you go to school?
* RP

3) Where did you work?
* YCH

4) Where did you live?
* Jurong West XD

5) Where did you hang out?
* sch and cwp? LOLS

6) Did you wear glasses?
* PERFECT EYESIGHT! >< *nooo, huee don’t whack me*

7) Who was your best friend(s)?
* jian huos and the fools! (:

8) How many piercings did you have?
* 5

9) What car did you drive?
* I can’t even get license yet

10) Had you been to a real party?
* real as in? LOLS.

12) Had your heart broken?
* ya...

13) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced?
* taken

1 YEAR AGO.
1) How old were you?
* 18

2) Where did you go to school?
* RP then MI since mid-feb(:

3) Where did you work?
* eh?

4) Where did you live?
* same

5) Where did you hang out?
* WM? XD

6) Did you wear glasses?
* PERFECT EYESIGHT!!! *hide from huee*

7) Who were your best friends?
* jian huos and the JAE group of darlings!

8) Who was your crush?
* no crush

9) How many tattoos did you have?
* NONE!

10) How many piercings did you have?
* 5

11) What car did you drive?
* no money for car and license T.T

12) Had your heart broken?
* no ba? ^^

13) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced?
* taken (:

NOW, 2009.
1) How old are you?
* 19

2) Where do you work?
* (:

3) Where did you go to school?
* MI

4) Where do you live?
* JW.

5) Do you wear glasses?
* -.-

6) Who are/is your best friends?
* stil jian huos... and some others (:

7) Do you talk to your old friends?
* yup! But not all though :/

8) How many piercings do you have?
* 5.

9) How many tattoos?
* -.-

10) What kind of car do you have?
* (looks at bf)

11) Has your heart been broken?
* ^^

12) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced?:
* taken!

do pop by j-jacelynn.bs(:

2009-07-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

Happy 13th monthsary! :D

*will be back for update*

2009-06-16T22:32:00.003+08:00

~~有一天，我会死掉的~~

2009-06-13T23:57:00.002+08:00

"Tons of things I wanted to say; I wish you could be here now"

2009-06-05T00:40:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to dad! (:

*

我想我快要精神分裂了。

我现在只想把自己锁起来，什么都不做。

我不想说话，不想睡觉，不想吃，不想玩，什么都不想。

不要吵我，不要问我发生什么事。

这次连我自己都不知道。

安静。

2009-06-01T23:59:00.003+08:00

010609!

Met dear at around 12nn and set off for our destination - Douby Ghaut~
(before that he asked me to choose between apple and orange -.- apple is vivo)

Dear is cute sia! Surprised me with a rose ^^ so sweet~~~

Then we went to have japanese hi-tea buffet at Nihon Mura. Tell you, hundreds times better than Sakae or the others! Drinks freeflow, even sashimi also under buffet! Totally can eat till you drop man. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

After that went for movie, monster vs alien

Funny to the max! Good for people who want good laughs (:

Next up is neoprint!!! The very very very first one! <333

*insert lots of hearts*

After that, back to jp to have something which I yearned very much- chocolate fondue!

<3!

And then, home sweet home~

Overall, I really enjoyed myself today!

Thanks dear for all the effort made for today and the past one year ^^
very very very much appreciated!

***

HAPPY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY, LOVE!

you're all I ever wanted

2009-05-10T17:30:00.004+08:00

Great experiences.

8/5 Friday

Went bugis with dear, korkor and YCY. tata~ there goes my virgin experience of lan.

Played CS, L4D, and dota. Conclusion? - one hour is not enough >.<

But, I seriously don't understand what's so nice with those games? like...
i kill i kill i killkillkill... -.-

Well, but I'm so proud of myself! one round of CS, I killed korkor from the back while he and dear fighting. =X heh *shows victory sign*

happy happy!

9/5 Saturday

Dear came over in the noon to lunch with me and then we went to see lappy before heading home to change and off to Harold's birthday BBQ (birthday on 8th May) at Bukit Batok's CSC ^^

Before we went off, dear taught me how to played maple, and so I tried for awhile. It's... *fills in the blank*

I guess I just have to get use to the keys sequences. LOLS.

(back to BBQ)

First time i ate BBQ since don't know when! Kinda miss that kinda... feeling? LOLS.

But I was rather bored there :/ dear was cooking all the way and I just stood beside him to see him cook and get things for him... despite being so busy, dear still tried to entertain the *fills in the blank* me. awwww. Thanks love! *cuddle*

Homed at almost 12mn!

10/5 Sunday

Happy mama's day to all mamas! ^^

Woke up rather early at 9am, and then wash up before I logged in to maple! (Died alot of times la T.T)

But it's rather a great experiences playing. Next up, I went to Fairprice Xtra to shop for groceries and ingredients for dinner! (I'm now half way done, and while waiting for things to settle, I took some time to blog =p)

Learnt how to be an aunty (or housewife) >.<
- compare prices and take the cheapest possible ones
- work within budgets (great training for future eh? DEAR!!!)
- carrying big bags small bags all the way home, alone
- rushing home to cook dinner for family (YES)
- etc...

really good training lo -.-

Alrights, I need to get back to work! Will be back soon to insert pics and update on mama's day!

till then, toodles!

Sidenote, I can't wait for holidays! Dear said he will mug mug mug with me!!! :DDD

XOXO;

2009-05-05T22:38:00.002+08:00

Thank you so much!

Sometimes people will remember things you almost forgot when you least expected it;
while sometimes, when you expect... ... ...

It's real cool how some small little actions brought smiles to my face, isn't it? =)
p/s I only want to be transparent to you.

2009-05-03T02:00:00.004+08:00

Before I go off to bed, I thought I might like to blog. No point keep things and then wake up with a bad moood later on yea?.

Went blog hopping just now and found rather shocking things. Things like... the most steady couples actually broke off, how some people's life changed etc.

Is it due to the differences in genes which resulted in all guys prompted to make the same mistakes? When they already have the prettiest+cleverest+richest+good temper+etcetcetc gf, why is that they will still cheat behind their partners' back? Reasons given are only excuses to cover up for the wrong doings. When you claimed how much you love each other, there is NO reason for you to cheat beside you partner's back. Unless that isn't love. As simple as that.

But how come, the mistakes will still happen between married couples? Are marriage vows taken for nothing? I wonder.

Below is what i got from blog hopping, which left me thinking how true is it.

the top five basic needs of the female in marriage are:

1 - affection
2 - communication
3 - openness/honesty
4 - financial support
5 - family commitment

the male's top five basic needs are:

1 - sexual fulfillment
2 - recreational companionship
3 - an attractive wife
4 - domestic support
5 - admiration

*

Sometimes, I can't help but wonder is it girls' memories are too goood, or just guys' memories are too bad. *Jelly will second me*

While girls actually remembers so many things, how could guys forget? For me, I do not think that guys have the power to do selective memories, but they just simply don't want to admit that they rememberPERIOD

I actually thought that I did a damn smart thing until today, ok, yesterday, until I went to check my folder. Not long ago, my lappy was sent to reformat, and hence all the things in the C drive are gone. BUT, it was only till today that I realised, the shortcut chatlog folder in D drive which I created from the mother folder in C drive is actually still linked to the mother folder in C drive.

While my intention was to copy the whole folder, so that next time I'm able to keep those wonderful chats with bf and friends, and??? Now it's gone. There's a chinese saying which goes "to be fooled by one's cleverness". Now I experienced. And, it seriously makes me wonder if I'm being hinted.

While I remembered some key events, am I being hinted to forget through the deletion of the folders?

Memories of how me and bf started talking, confess our feelings for each other, him thinking that trying to hold my hand is a sin, first called each other 'dear', sweet-talked and crapped non-stop, arguments, sorting out problems, hearing each other out, complained, etcetcetc...

YET the process of a few buttons + a few hours of waiting, *POOF* gone, forever.

*

Laoshi said, guys will only realised their wrong and regret after losing the precious; while girls will tend to fall too deeply yet when they decided to walked away, they will not look back again.

I don't know what's my rationale of typing all these craps, but I just want to. This is my blog anyway. If anyone finds it offending, well, perhaps, you're guilty of something I said in my blog? Yet, if you don't feel offended, it doesn't mean that you are not guilty about anything, maybe it just meant that you take your love ones lightly. =) Do some reflections. Cherish the ones you love.

High ego doesn't worth any money. When you have done the wrong thing, a simple 'sorry' can do the magic.

While I suddenly feel an affection with the date today, it strikes me that today is the day where me and bf disclosed our love to the class during bbq last year this date.

During the truth-or-dare session in the tent,

Chelsea: do you like jackie?
Jolene: no.
Chelsea: are you sure?
Jolene: ya. *mumbles* because I love him...

"I still love you, like I always do."

2009-04-26T03:41:00.003+08:00

woooohoooo~~~

Ok. I'm back. (:

Had been quite busy with the usual... But this two days were rather enjoyable though

240409

Vivo-ed after bf's rehersal. Pulled JIAHUIlee along with her darlingK.

Dined at subway (weeyang!!!) and then the two pairs of us went separated ways.

Me and bf went to slack and have a talk by the pool.

We saw a cruise!

*so beautiful

We had our legs soaked in the water. (which's rather comfortable) and crapped all the way. Lucky there's no fishes in the ~~pond~~pool, or they might die due to bf's smelliness. *opps

On this special day (me being 19 years and 3 months old)...

I

GAVE

MY

FIRST

TIME

TO

BF

,

WHILE

HE

GAVE

ME

HIS

TOO

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We caught a M18 show.

Revolutionary Road.

Not nice. We don't catch what the show is talking about >.<

The show ended real late! and bf's rather pissed with the fact that we missed the last train as he had got friendly match the next day. In the end, we managed to catch the last bus 30 and got back to boon lay in an hour's time. Bf walked me and despite being so tired. Millions of thanks, my dear!

250409

Went to aljunied to watch bball match with bf and bball gang. (Jason Muthu Ernest! and Benard)

It's really thrilling! Lotsa lotsa stuns which made your mouth left opened for some time. LOLS.

While walking back to mrt station, we saw the clouds formed a heart shape and a 'reflection'. Darn pretty. But it's abit hard to capture in picture...
*do not enlarge - will be more unclear*

(focus on the center)

Remember once, i saw the clouds forming 'LOVE' too! Darn nice.

After that, went for supper at JE with bf and then HSH.

*

Just finished viwawa-ing with JN and I'm here to blog before I go off to bed.

Ok. I need to find time to meet the following...

- JNWX
- DL
- BT
-
-
-
-
- LOW YI SHEN
- PANG JIAHUI (and gang)

It's not I allocate more time for bf k! It's when I'm free you all are not!

**

Dear bf,

millions of thanks!

Thanks for taking some time off your busy schedule to accompany me for movie.

Thanks for making it my day by doing some sweet little stuffs - buy breakfast for me, tease me, etc...

Thanks for being there for me while I'm really scared.

Thanks for piggy-backing me while I'm tired and ... ... ... ... ... ...

*and the list goes on*

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

*5 more days*

2009-04-10T21:22:00.001+08:00

Thanks to all.

special thanks to:
- korkor
- mark
- weeyang
- zoe & zc
- ivyt
- jiahui and shihua

many thanks to:
- all who came
- MI bball team!
- nahnah
- ys
- hl

=)

2009-04-09T00:00:00.000+08:00

Happy 18th birthday to...

Jackie Lim Guang Jie!

*stop day dream so much!*

Study harder, play harder okie!

:DDD
much loves.
love me more too!!!

2009-04-08T23:19:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, too much of coincidences simply make people doubt.

I think I must be too tired.

I should sleep sooon. SOON. SOOOOOOOOON.

2009-04-06T20:02:00.001+08:00

Today is a special day~~~

HAPPY ~~21st~~17th BIRTHDAY to...

MEATY KEK!

you share my room and my everything for 17 years liao. ENOUGH ALREADY OR NOT???

but no matter what remember i love u lots k~~~ xD

***

Herbal tea egg, muachee and long john make me a happy happy girl!!! :DDD

2009-04-05T21:38:00.000+08:00

WEEEEEEEE!!!

MI basketball guys got into round 2!
*dance~*

AND AND AND... all the guys were asked to shave botak!!!

I CANT WAIT TO SEEEEEEEEEEE botak basketball team =X

2009-04-01T21:54:00.000+08:00

Happy 19th birthday to...

APRIL KAM

Happy 15th birthday to QIQI!

Happy 18th birthday to Wee Yang!

=)

~

Happy April fools' to all (:

~

Today is someday special...

2009-03-30T21:25:00.001+08:00

Before I start,

Eric daddy,

生日快乐！！！

*left me thinking why haven't we took any photos at pizzahut back then...
WHY HUH NAHNAH???*

~~~

2nd issue,

MI bball guys did great!

All the hardwork WILL be rewarded (:

JIAYOU FOR WEDNESDAY!

~~~

Back to topic...

One and a half year gone, one and a half year left.

After literally wasting one and a half year (worse still, even more), I'm left with two choices - 1) continue wasting the remaining one and a half years; 2) do some thing(s) about it.

The year started for almost 4 months. What had I accomplished? I did things which I had never ever done in the whole of my 19years of living.

- skipped 3 days of history lessons (2 periods each)
- gotten suspension from lesson 'cause of this
- skipped school
- FLUNK MY EXAMS WITH ~~FLYING~~ COLOURS

Although it's not really big deal to many, but I'm not proud of it in any way. I don't know since when I started to bother. But somehow, I'm really very bothered by it. I need, I must, I want, I have to do some thing(s) about it, before I'm left with nothing, before it's too late for anything, before there's no turning back.

Turn impossible into possible; Im possible.

2009-03-29T16:25:00.000+08:00

I feel like... cuddling into someone's arms now and cry my lungs out.

The feeling of wanting to do something so much yet I have no ability to.

Helpless and pathetic.

2009-03-29T00:06:00.000+08:00

28/3/09

Went to VIVO with dearestest princesses and two of April's friends today.

Dined at RAMEN TEN and shopped awhile before heading for movie. RAMEN TEN isn't really nice :/ and 20bucks flies. -.-

Caught "Confession of a Shopaholic". It's the first time I went to VIVO's GV. The theater is so spacious la! (okay... suaku or what?) LMAO. The show... I felt it's rather boring. BUT meaningful.

Today seemed to be feet-pain day la. Winnie Felica and Jelin all feet pain. (results of wearing high heels. LOLS. >.<)

After movie went to have a mini celebration for dearestest April.

Bf came to look for me and home sweet home~

*pics will be up once i received the pics*

Hitting the blanket in half hours' time. YAWNS.

2009-03-26T23:49:00.003+08:00

***

In a blink of eyes, time flies.

Remember last year today, it was when you first stepped into my life.

It's after pe lesson at classroom F08. When I stepped into the class, I took the seat beside you. You're folding your shirt and pants then. First impression? Organised and neat. (EH but why now different ah? =p)

Then, i get the see the crazy side of you... Which made me a little OMG. In my heart, I'm thinking, better not be like ~~someone~~

Although on that day is the first day I know of someone named 'Jackie', yet I still didn't know that you're the vice-chairman of the class! So blur of me!!!

But, do you know? That day does leave an unaccountable and great impact on me...

Ever since then... ... ...

67.

2009-02-28T17:59:00.001+08:00

changed my skin! not really much difference, but as long as i love it, who cares? :D

will be back for a post later at night! (:

2009-01-16T23:44:00.000+08:00

你怀里的那温度，只有你能给；
温暖，也带给我十足的安全感；
我把这特别的感觉称为“幸福”

***

it felt as if time rewound back to 1682024.

2009-01-11T22:49:00.000+08:00

i think im really not good at hiding my own feelings to myself. no matter how hard i tried, some people still can spot the 'fakeness'...

daddy tells me to love forever is not easy - i know. but i didnt know it's so hard.

i want to give nothing up, but everything seems to give me up.

result for trying hard yet kept failing? disappointment is one thing, yet it also left me mentally and physically tired. i dont deny i had developed phobia to try again.

pig loves to say "what dont kill you dont makes you stronger"

true, but after trying endless times and each time you will only fall deeper, i bet you wont dare to try anymore. just like one thing. but for me, it's not only one, it's alot. hell lots.

try to work hard study hard whatever hard. but results? when i thought im prepared for the chem paper for promos last year, and pinning hell lots of hope that i can score, results?

nothing. nothing more. im tired. dont want to talk dont want to do anything else.

school's starting in about 9hours. so??? try. try again. try harder. what else can i do?

2009-01-08T00:27:00.002+08:00

roar roar roars!!!

im not angry. im not sad. im not disappointed.
(take deep breath - in... out...)

alrights! :DDD

im looking for backgrounds for new blogskin!!!

till then!

ciaos.

2009-01-04T10:34:00.006+08:00

By right i should be ranting now. but i went by left. i still ranted, but in my head. repeating everything i wanna say to you to myself in my head. i wont say it out, because i know my rants dont work. you knew it too! i feel like stabbing myself, but it's of no use too.

actually, it's nothing much (: just like quitting drugs, it takes time. im feeling very bad now, but i know i can only endure. i trust you. i know no matter what you do, you want the best for us, although i dont understand as usual.

you said before, "if it's easy to love, then it's not love".

endure endure endure. im not sure for how long i can, before i explode.

i dont want to stay alone. im afraid to be alone.

im not as strong as i seem.

i pray for the best.

2009-01-04T00:37:00.001+08:00

Happy 2009! (3days late though)

ok, i DIDNT went mia. i just have no idea what to blog. (and lazy tooooooo >.<)

Countdown i ton-ed outside! like for the first time although it wasnt consider a real countdown either. and somemore it's with someone special! haha. my 'virgin ton' with a guy, who will say countup, dont countdown! lols. (first one was to CINDYwong)

new year means starting everything afresh. and, surely it is goood to look back at the past year, reflecting on things that you'd done. looking back isnt as bad as it seems actually! (:

in 2008, i had
- quited from RP
- worked (while watiting for posting)
- gotten postes and studied at MI
- fell in love and gotten a BF
- done exams tests and gotten promoted

Well, at least the major things are up. life had changed quite alot for me actually. from slacky school life to a serious one (which i seriously enjoy more), from single to being attached. it was only till now that i realised life is changing all the time! but i hadnt been adapting well ):

alright, for year two zero zero nine, i must work on it!
*by right it should be a long post, but im lazy ah. >.<*

Ciaos!

2008-12-21T07:20:00.001+08:00

im back from msia, like finally.

im still feeling very uneasy about some things, but i just dont know what. it's just a feeling that some thing bad (very very very very very x infinite) and big will happen.

*

it's not the love or feeling that doesnt last; it's the faith and confidence.

esp.

when.

you.

left.

so.

many.

things.

uncertain.

FCUK. and now IM BACK INTO IT AGAIN.

2008-12-01T23:55:00.000+08:00

Happy 6th month dear~

thanks for walking thru the times with me! :D

ilu.

2008-11-27T22:52:00.001+08:00

Quarreling day?

debating with friend over sch stuffs, quarreling with mama over what medi to take, and arguing with dear dear over the same old stuffs.

2008-11-23T23:35:00.002+08:00

i went out today.

and the places i went make me sad.

real sad. very sad.

the * kept repeating again and again. over and over and over again.

nobody understood. no one understand.

~

im trying.

2008-11-19T22:36:00.005+08:00

love's back! :DD

❤forever love❤

2008-11-14T12:19:00.000+08:00

"哈咯 dear dear, er... 我是你 dear dear"

above is what cute cute blur blur dear said when he called back 3days ago. :D

i remembered the time when i went back to malaysia, dear and i was missing each other badly. (i almost cried from missing him)

now, dear went to HK, and the period of stay was 2times that of mine. of course, im missing him real badly.

sometimes i do regret not signing up for HK trip. i had never taken a plane before. and im afraid dear might miss me. in the end... he went but i didnt T.T

yet, come to a think of it, somehow, this small separation is good for us and our relationship too. and i do think, how long our relationship can go will have to depend on this trip.

i had been thinking of alot of things this few days. and i have tons to tell dear.

im aliving to see dear now.

really. seriously. badly.

*

*looks like pointing middle finger! =x

dear, come back safe and sound! (no negotiation!)
im here waiting, and counting down to the day that you're back;to when i can hold you tight again.*i will make sure you cant run!

2008-11-03T19:16:00.000+08:00

lappy is being hospitalised AGAIN.

and now im at dear's house blogging :D

last week is the last week of school -.-

on monday stayed back with gaya and khai for chem poster.

this is what dear gave me before he left home for his work.

:D

a few days ago is our 5th month. (011108)

dear had to go for HK meeting in the morning, and hence, i almost thought that we cant meet. BUT, dear still managed to come over at night, just when im about to give up hope :DD

ate kfc, and a cake and then... dear taught me dance!!!

*strawberry sweetheart

see what dear did to my leg...

he fed my leg before we had a chance to eat the cake -.-

so, if anyone passed by my area there and then saw two crazy people dancing, it's probably me and dear :D

BUT, i had so much fun time!

today, i missed dear so much that i cried ):

came over to dear's house as he had to finish up his ppt for HK trip...

*and he stayed up till 3am to help his friend clear the mess of the ppt too )):

so, finally dear dear finished and snore snore soon after~

take 1

take 2

take 3

take 4

take 5

take 6

take 7

siala! dear, you sleeping also can pose!

poor baby, sure is tired ):
*i can even hear him snore! =X*

i seriously think, i will go crazy when baby goes to HK ):

***

you're the first thing on my mind when i open my eyes every morning;
the last before i close my eyes each night

2008-10-29T23:03:00.001+08:00

:DDD

i hope i can be as happy as tonight for everyday!

*for once...~

2008-10-27T17:36:00.001+08:00

dlove/dt

爱，能重来吗？）：

2008-10-25T14:41:00.001+08:00

HAPPY 19th, JIAQI (:

*taken 251007*

*

那双温柔的手臂，还是只属于我一个人的吗？

"我已经不可以再有所期待了。那双拥抱我的手臂，还有那双温柔的手。"

是这样的吗？

2008-10-24T23:50:00.003+08:00

开心不代表所有的事都十全十美，
而是代表着你决定看过瑕疵。

有时候，未知数会让人的心情像在半空荡来荡去的秋千。

换一个脑袋，会不会比较好？

不被认可的感觉，不好受。

爱是什么？只是两人彼此喜欢？

心，好痛，好酸，好累。

但是，我爱他，很爱很爱他。

2008-10-23T23:16:00.002+08:00

我不开心，不高兴，不愉快。

那时几个小时前的事了吧。哈哈。

猪猪大约傍晚七点，趁我在放‘炸弹’时突然出现在我家门口。虽然有一点儿心灵感应他会来，但我还是又惊又喜！不久，笑容又回到我的脸上。:DD

也许有些东西不像想象中那么难。

明天将公布是否能升学的成绩了。如果没什么状况发生，因该是没问题的吧。还真期待明年开学呢！

多一个星期就要放假了。有点儿开心，也有点儿不。因为假期的假期的到来就提醒着我，下个月我和猪猪将大量减少在一起的时间。这难免会对我们的感情造成一些困扰与阻碍。但我们因该会能应付的吧？至少我相信我们会。

一个拥抱能代替所有 - 有时候，触觉是很重要的。

2008-10-22T23:09:00.000+08:00

原来男生们认真的时候超帅的勒！

看着猪猪与队友在球场上痛宰敌队，真是既紧张又兴奋！

今天也和也许明年即将成为同班同学的人打招呼。是猪猪篮球队的朋友。看来，今年的升学要求好像让不少人都大伤脑筋。：/ 身边也有一些朋友们都考得不是很理想，有的也许还会被劝离开学校）：

化学老师今天给了份小组作业，是老师分的组。虽然是想跟猪猪一组，这样一来，我就能尽力完成这份作业，好让他能专心做他的另一份。但是，由老师分组也好，我因该学习不要一直粘着猪猪咯。不然，明年如果不同班就有我好受了。

我想，我还得更努力些！

2008-10-21T23:13:00.000+08:00

有时候选择听信善意的谎言也不是不好。至少它让你有理由不知不觉地欺骗自己。如果要让这一计十全十美，那最好这些善意的谎言都不被拆穿。

今天早上我竟然睡过头，结果要给猪猪的惊喜就这样给不成了）：哎。因为宝贝早上肚子不舒服，结果要给他的小蛋糕竟然是我吃下。但是害怕他肚子会闹不适，我也没办法啦。只要心意传到就可以了吧？：/

妹妹说英文考试好像会不及格，猪猪也这么说。神啊！！！请您保佑我这两个宝贝都可以通过这一关吧！！！

期末考的试卷都拿回来了。升级因该不是件难事，但我，对自己的成绩有点失望。变态猪猪还是考到一样变态的好。（不用解释有多变态吧？我不想给他打屁屁。反正，就是很变态！）

有时候，想说的东西一直不说，到最后，也许想说也不能说了。

不知道为什么，我现在有点儿低落。但无所谓吧。我会慢慢适应的。我相信（：

2008-10-20T23:45:00.000+08:00

好开心哦！（我知道我很情绪化，但我想这是没法改变的事实吧？-。-）

傍晚宝贝猪猪忙完了他的事后就来找我哦！哈哈。当他告诉我，我们去看电影时，我真的乐翻了天勒！我想刚回到家的妹妹应该觉得我在发神经吧 -。-

买了电影票，我们就先去吃宝贝最喜欢的肯德基炸鸡。宝贝，你该减肥了啦！

明天宝贝就要考试了。而我也想好要怎样为他加油了。哈哈。秘密惊喜！顺便也帮他充电一下（：当他宝贝我想调皮的时候，可是谁也拦不住我的！呵呵。

其实，我要的也不会很难办到啊。我只要你能真正地，完完全全地属于我，就在那几个小时里，来一下简简单单的约会。这样我就很开心了！或许，我没能把我的心意正确地传达给你才会搞得我们都这么累吧。

直到刚才，我才想通了一些事。别担心，都是好事（：

说好的幸福，就在我们的前方等着我们。我知道我们一定会一起到达终点的（：你会一直牵着我的手吧？

说好的幸福呢 - 周杰伦

你的绘画凌乱着
在这个时刻
我像气氛纯白的白鸽
甜蜜散落了
继续莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌
假装没事了
时间过了走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了
一开始都不快乐
你用卡片纸写着
有些爱只给到这真的痛了
怎么了你累了说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了
开心与不开心依稀数着你在不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得
你不懂了说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢
怎么了你累了
说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了
爱淡了梦远了
我都还记得

2008-10-20T11:48:00.003+08:00

因该说是在意料之中吧。因为自己迟到而不能和亲爱的一起吃早餐，我又能怪谁呢？早知道会是这样的结果，那我干么还自讨苦吃呢？

而昨天原先想好的‘计划’现在也得先搁置一旁。说不失望，我看我的鼻子因该长长了不少吧？哈哈。

也许因为不同的兴趣，我还有两部想看的电影还没看。因该没机会了吧？不晓得第三部会不会也一样错过。但无所谓啦。除非我要自己去看。哈哈。但那是不可能的吧？

我想我应该学会少闹便扭，反正也没差。因为没有东西会因为我闹便扭而改变的。但我还是想说：我讨厌那女的！

‘O’水准会考就要开考了。希望妹妹会取得不错的成绩。看她这么努力，我相信皇天不负苦心人！我真期待两年后可以跟妹妹一起考‘A’水准呢！（如果我那时有妹妹一半努力，我现在也不会在励仁了，而是在拼‘A’水准了咯！哈哈。）

2008-10-19T23:06:00.003+08:00

说不在意是骗人的，
说不会想也是骗人的。

我厌倦伪装，但却还是得装。

家慧说她对我感到失望，而我自己也是。

*

亲爱的宝贝猪猪就要考试了，但我却不知道该怎么为他加油。我这个女朋友很烂吧？哈哈。

*

原来等人也可以这么累。我好累哦。

2008-10-18T15:10:00.001+08:00

maybe, even the most beautiful woman on earth will be insercured.

i felt how 晴紫 felt, and perhaps dear felt how 源伊 felt;

if i tell dear what 晴紫 said to 源伊, will dear tell me what 源伊 replied to 晴紫 and mean it?

maybe, bena darling's nick is true.

2008-10-14T23:49:00.004+08:00

maybe the fact that im not as needed as i thought i am made me felt lost; maybe the fact that im needing more than i used to made me felt useless.

today is the start of school again after one whole week of 'holiday'. didnt really sleep well for the night. but im not feeling really tire. i think i thought of alot of things before i slept.

was wishing that dear was here to pei me to school. i opened my door, and was feeling rather sad that i didnt see him. but when i walked down the stairs, a familiar fat image caught my eyes, and left me thinking if still in lalaland. but NO! dear was there! right there before me. darn happy. i might even fly over the moon if gravitational force hadnt been acting on me then.

some things cropped up, and left dear unhappy for the rest of the day. yet, as a gf, i cant do anything to make him feel a single bit better. i CANT even console him nor sit quietly by him. i think if i were the secondary school me, i might not have 'given the teacher face' and gave dear a hug straight le ba. at least, to me that was what he needed the most at that point of time.

sometimes, maybe things dont seem to be like how they were portrayed, but by giving in, then case should be solved ba. im rather unhappy about something today. unhappy and sad and disappointed with myself. i didnt know what to do. i read thru the past messages that dear sent me. then i realised how idiot i am. bf always gave in to my weird temper. but seems like, the one making him angry is me; the one driving him probably near his grave is me; the one who asked more than what he could give is me; the one who cant understand him is also me. etc. i dont have to state everything out to convince myself ba.

im useless. when my bf is down, i dont know how to cheer him up like how he can when im down. i can only listen to him. i dont know how to give advice. the only things i will say will be 'cheer up' , 'dont so stress, take a break' , 'dont smile then not handsome lo!' etc. things which i know that will not lighten up his day. that's why i chose to be quiet. but by being quiet doesnt help him. he needs someone to talk to, so he complain to me, isnt it? and by being quiet, is as well as he is talking to himself or to a dummy. yet, what can i do???

when bf needs me most, WHERE THE HELL AM I? perhaps, i dont even know when does he need me. how useless right? call myself his gf? what did i do to deserve to be? by being demanding? by throwing tantrums? by not understanding him? by depriving things which make him happy? maybe, im really beyond redemption.

i wanted to care, yet i always didnt do a good job. by using soft methods, hard methods, i also cant convey the message of how much i care across to him. instead, i only know how to add on to his burden. (im sorry dear, but i really didnt mean to de.) how lousy can his girl get?

although sometimes he did have his unreasonable times, but he is also a human who needs to rant ah. and i should be more than willing to let him rant in front of me, which he doesnt in front of others. i should learn to be more understanding and not argue back when dear is not in a good mood. although sometimes dear would, unknowingly say some things which hurts, i should learn to take them positively. a sentence made me felt abit hurt, but it's ok, i know you meant us good.

despite liking to felt needed, yet ironically, i wanted to be like a baby to bf, with him to make every decision for me and block me from all danger. i trust that he will not let me get hurt. and that is why i am not afraid or scare of anything with him around ba.

but no matter what, some things are for sure. i am ALWAYS here for you, and I LOVE YOU, more than any other people do. (maybe your mum is the only comparable one but different categories eh! >.<)

i dont care how will things be in the future, i only know that i want to hold onto you hands for as long as i can.

***

i just love you and only you

2008-10-13T12:33:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY, WINNIE!!!

*photos after she send me*

***

9:27:20:8:9:14:11:27:9:27:1:13:27:19:15:27:19:1:4:27:20:9:12:12:27:
20:8:1:20:27:20:8:5:27:20:5:1:18:19:27:1:18:5:27:19:9:3:11:27:1:14:4:27:
20:9:18:5:27:15:6:27:6:12:15:23:9:14:7:27:15:21:20

9:27:20:8:15:21:7:8:20:27:23:8:1:20:27:25:15:21:27:27:20:8:15:21:7:8:20:27:20:15:15

2008-10-11T23:29:00.005+08:00

i tried doing what ever i can. to rant, to yell, to shout, to act as if nothing happen, but i realised i just cant.

it's not going to happen. perhaps, never again.

NEVER.

i should stop pinning hope.

i should stop crying.

2008-10-11T18:08:00.001+08:00

happy 18th bena darling!

one year older liao. stay cute always ah! =p

love ya!

*

when jealousy strikes, things may get out of hands. some times, a person may use all means to attract attention from people, be it the lover or friends or family. it can be doing harm to ownself, or hurting others. when all failed, the person might even let the other party hate himself. even if it's hatred, at least it means that the person will still put you on mind? it may be seen as silly or bla to people who dont understand, but perhaps when you really want to gain someone's attention, you wont care about anything else.

some times, a couple's relationship may get altered by a third party, be in indirectly or not. although the couple might be seriously in love, but that doesnt stop a third party from manipulating the relationship. and sometimes, the couple themself might not realise. yet, nothing is impossible. it's just up to each individual's thinking to believe or not, or to take precaution or not. even the most honest person on earth can be deceiving.

trust can be easy to gain, but most of the times it's hard to regain. even 'believe' lies a 'lie' in between. although white lies are not meant to hurt people, but sometimes, not knowing the truth yet find out that actually things arent the way it was told, it can hurt people thousand times more severe. of course, it happens only when those smartass find out the truth, be it deliberately or accidentally.

'people dont plan to fail, but they fail to plan'. so when they fail they might just find the excuse that it's due to lack of planning. they can even find ways to escape from the failure, to run away, to commit suicide and bla. these dont help. they just dont understand that the problems will still be there not matter what. they lack the courage and determination to overcome the failure. they may want help from other people. yet when they arent even helping themself, how possible is it for others to help them?

nothing last forever. how long is forever? people always say as long as they once had this and that, they will be contented. yet, how many actually are? not alot. people always want the best. everyone is greedy. whenever people get hold of some things, they will tend to find ways to get hold of it for as long as possible. no one will be contented for what thay have. and when one day they have to forgo, they it wont occur to them that they had once had it, they should be contented. everyone wants more. as much as possible, as long as possible.

*

i dont know what more to write. it happened so everytime.
(not refering to any particular person, just some random thinking)

*

i want a mind that wont think, a heart that wont ache, a soul that wont feel.

editted 1202, 10th oct

2008-10-09T23:40:00.001+08:00

actually, i wanted to ask

but it's ok.

))):

2008-10-08T22:58:00.001+08:00

went cwp for movie today with dear as we didnt manage to catch it on the 4th month, and also to compensate for yesterday.

before that, i became 'maria' to buy food for dear -.- roar. and even smarter as i took cab down to his house, which cost me like 22times of mrt fares! *faint* ok. i promise i wont take cab unnecessarily from now on.

caught Eagle eye. it's awesome, provided you catch the ball of what it is trying to show. lols.

Eng Wah (unwatched) vs Cathy.

after the movie went to find uncle and im working tomorrow ):

dinner at food court (almost for once) and home aftermath.

needa sleep early so i shall stop here.

thanks dear, i enojoyed(: ~~even though im a little upset about something now.~~

***

i might have been in love before, but i never felt this strong

~~i should have known it better. sometimes i just wonder if i mean...~~

2008-10-02T14:48:00.000+08:00

yo~ k, im finally back. lols. (but lappy not back yet T.T)

first, bad thing.

CHEMISTRY ON 29/9 IS REALLY CHEMISERY. (chem-misery)

S2 and S4 like only dear finished the whole paper. PERVERT -.-
(although he claim he anyhow one la)

ok, first time i felt so sad about exams in my 18years. (cause i really study ma T.T)

and for that, huee say i got hope liao -.-

but, i still made some idiot mistakes on those questions that i did. like, F+ and O+ i wrote F- and O- . sigh.

*

ok, now good things.

yesterday is 4th month with dear~~~ (yipee!)

the day before (30/9), dear had econs and so im at home. i slept till almost the time he end his paper lols. (show victory sign to dear) well, since he cant sleep, so i have to help me sleep ma. dear, im a nice gf hor? LOLS.

so, after i woke up, pull sis to jp and we went to jp for some stationary and then to ntuc for my cookies mixture then to mac.

and dear took 1plus hour to reach boon lay from batok -.-

so, actually the cookies was meant for a surprise for dear on our 4th month, but he idiot la! spoil my surprise. *bite*

yet, we do have fun making the cookies together (:

see how serious is he.

'<3 JKPY' - before.

'<3 JKPY (:' - after.

geee.

*

1st oct,

heppy 18th birthday to QQ and sipei!

~

went to vivo with dear, initially wanted to catch a movie, but due to the long queue, we decided to postpone our plan. so, we went to eat, and then shop around and sat down and chatted for almost 2hours!!!

he is too obsess with me. gee.

hmmm???

before we went home, we had long john silver's salad and pie for 'celebration'

food~~~

and, home sweet home aftermath. :D

*

today, dear cheated my feeling la! he woke me up and then, tada i found him outside my house with...

mac breakfast!!! <33

love love~

***

love is all i had for you

2008-09-24T17:11:00.000+08:00

i love oink oink!

*evil laughters

2008-09-18T21:03:00.001+08:00

i felt my heart yearning so badly for you.

so badly

so so badly

so so so badly.

2008-09-17T00:22:00.003+08:00

supposed to be sleeping now, but im awake somehow. (duh -.-)

went bloghop just now since i cant sleep, came across some familiar blogs and realised that some of these people are still with their pervious bf/gf. (which some i dont think they would have lasted - yah, im evil -.-) and so, somethings crossed my mind while im reading.

at our kinda age, it's rather normal that those people around you who are attached would be probably since secondary school days, while those who are single are single (-.-)

since secondary school days. take for example a couple got together at the last day of the year last year, and today is already september 16. which means, they would have been together for 9 and half months!

although i had been in rather long relationship before, but sometimes i just wonder how couples maganaged to survive through all those arguments, ups and downs, setbacks, tears, smiles and etcetc. recalling, i think mine is rather a miracle one somehow.

like any other couples, me and dear experienced setbacks, arguments etc too. sometimes, it's due to minor things, sometimes, it will be things which i think are major but not to him and vice versa.

dear is a good bf, no doubt. at least, he isnt the type who will pick fight with you for nothing. for as far as possible, he always gave in to me. yet, i doesnt seem to appreciate his 'kindness' and always tend to try pushing my luck. i want him to care the way i wanted him to, but sometimes he doesnt know what do i want, and i dont want to tell him straight. hence, this is where conflicts started.

i always tend to say that he doesnt care enough, not sensitive enough and bla, but i didnt see the effort that he is trying to. i once told him, "when you're down, sometimes i gave up cheering you is because i dont know what is wrong, and always failed to tackle the problem straight." YET, now thinking back, he didnt know what's wrong with me either, but he still kept cheering me up, making me smile.

what i thought is that, if my bf can do what i want without me telling him to, he understands me. perhaps i watched too much dramas that i thought relationship should happen like how it does in the show, all those romantic stuffs and bla. BUT hello, this is reality, and it tends to differ from ideality. i just dont get my thinking right.

reflecting, i always did alot of things to upset dear. kicking fuss over NOTHING or minor things, want him to understand me but i always never try to understand him (and i THOUGHT I UNDERSTAND HIM ALOT), doing and saying all sorts of hurtful nonsense to him (I DO KNOW THAT IT WILL HURT) etc etc.

nahnah once asked me, "you are not the only child in the family, neither are you from a wealthy family, how come you will get such a "princess' temper" ar?"

well, i think, it all happnened cause people always tend to give in to me. and i will yell, scream, shout to get everything my way. things are especially worst when im in a relationship (although somehow people say that people tend to mature when being in a relaionship - this doesnt work for me).

at least 8 or 9/10 times, bf will give in and get everything the way i want. being pampered till this way, how possible is it to not have the "princess' temper"?

this is what i thought. there might be other reasons too.

but whatever it is, being in a long relationship is not easy. people may envy others that their relationhips last so long so long, but they dont see the hardship and bla behind.

long lasting relationships (not only bgr) reqire alot of endurance, perseverance, patience to pull through. it also requires love, trust, faith, fate and to compromise with each other.

(the above are just part of my thoughts, any resemblance is purely coincidence.)

*

dear, thanks for being understanding and patient towards my nonsense. i will try to minimise kicking fuss over minor things. i will learn to be more understanding too! sometimes, somehow, i just got too carried away doing things that i didnt care about your feelings when i always wanted you to care about mine. i am sorry to be selfish.

promos is here, and you seem to be stressed over it. sometimes you although you are just beside me, but i somehow find that i wasnt given the attention. i think im too possessive and too much of an attention whore. think i should work on it. i should be more considerate and... disturb you after promos. gee. BE PREPARED!!!

i believe we can overcome things together. i trust you. and im ready and prepared to walk the road with you. though there're things which will hinder our progress, but surely we will be able to find solutions together. there may be more setbacks, ups and downs coming along, but that's how we grow yea? (:

no matter what, doubtlessly, i love you, many.

- day 108.

***

my happy pill, always (:

2008-09-15T00:22:00.003+08:00

130908 - went to lavander with dear to renew his passport as he will be going to HK for some exchange program during nov. and this means i gonna miss him like hell for about 2weeks. nevermind. when he come back it will his turn to miss me. HAHAHA.

so woke up quite early as it's saturday, and most probably the centre will only operate for half day. (and to be kiasu and avoid queue too >.<) it was raining like so heavily, so tempted to sleep back again, but scare if i drag and when mama woke up, she wont let me out, so i hurry chiong and get out.

trip was rather fine. dear thought the place is at somerset -.- LUCKY he brought his clever gf along. LOLS. or it might be a wasted trip =p

got the queue ticket and the number showing was only 6000++. (our's 7013) SO, we decided to go to the cafe and have some food first. while eating, saw the screening showing 7013 number, and im like 0.0!! so we hurry finish our food and went up.

thought need to take photo or retake the queue ticket again. BUT this clever gf of his suggest to ask the counter first. while waiting, we took a second look at the queue ticket and realised that number of people in the queue is only 3 people -.- *dear! i thought you say always look at the smallest words one?!

and tata~ the nice and kind counter lady let us "cut queue" and just when i thought it's a long process, the lady said it's done - just a few chops here and there~~~

see, i helped dear to save money for taking photo and time to requeue!. LOLS.

after that, we went to somewhere opposite the building and walk walk as im seriously curious what's around there. so, while walking, we found one stall selling fruits that's rather cheap, and dear got himself a honeydew at 40cents while i got myself a packet of guava at 1buck. (and i threw half the pack away -.-)

while walking. evil him loves squeezing me flat!
*but nice me love him squeezing me flat =p

after that, i suggested we walked to bugis, and we really did so-.- walked around bugis junction and at about 11plus am, we decided to go home. passed by......

and decided to have some donut before we go home.

our delicious donuts. (we had ice chocolate too, and dear's collecting)

mummmm...

dear's big bite and my small bite.

NOOO. im not trying to kiss him =p

happy happy us for the day!

*monday is here and this means i need to return to school again. (and so wont be posting often) to view it positively, i can spend like almost half the day with dear. to view it negatively, revisions, tests and promos is on their way to kill me; and dear will be like almost always focusing on work T.T

BUT, i shall have him all mine and only mine after his trip to HK!!!
*muahahaha.

till then! im off for bed (:

***

my precious boy

you make me happy when skies are grey

2008-09-13T01:10:00.000+08:00

*sweep dust*

FINALLY have time to blog. lappy is finally back, but i think sooner or later i need to send it for repair again -.-

~

1/9 is 3rd month with dear, so after badminton with bryan and gang, we went to watch movie. both of us were so worn out by badminton that we nearly missed stop! caught Wall-E. it's a rather nice and meaningful movie, just minus the little non-scientific parts. LOLS.

*

skipped miss J's lesson on 2/9. one thing i want to clarify from dear's blog is, I AM NOT FEELING WELL! not cause tire can. ROARS. *bite* although after that went out to meet dear and darling at kfc opposite school. wanted to study but turned into a discussion time instead.

*

4/9 was studying time! I DID MATH ok!!! *dear, are you proud of me?* haha. although after that got distracted. well, i just cant keep my ass on my chair for long. -.- LMAO.

some things happened and got me emo for awhile. but it's soon ok.

dear! dont act la~ =p
(taken while im on train, and had to zoom, so it's very blur)

*

5/9 went to funan to find supplier, and finally, class tee is settled! (on 11/9) just have to wait for sample tee and collect all the money and CASE CLOSE.

i gave dear the BEST piece. *if you understand what i mean

*

cck mac with dear on 7/9 to study. haha. and we came out with a "3hr study - 1hr shopping" rule. lols.

spend the night folding bottle of stars as the next day is our 99th day!
*ok, im rather last minute to get this idea

but fold till fingers really pain T.T

red and swollen VS pale and smooth.

but for dear it's all worth it! (:

*

8/9 - school reopens. ZZZ. lols. as preU 2 and 3 having promos and prelim, they were to report by 8am for flag raising. (school starts at 9am for mondays) SO, i thought i was late! scare me!!!

darling said that she wanted to buy me breakfast for monday (this day) and she really did while i had forgotten bout it!

tuna and egg sandwiches.

*i drank the milk she bought before i had time to take photo just in case the milk turned bad.

somehow dear was very suay that day, and kept getting reprimanded by teachers. *and i caused some )):

had a bit bit of misunderstanding but soon it turned ok. (:

had chinese oral. ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL REOPEN. abit dumb to me. i think i screwed up my oral ):

sigh.

for my love. <33

*

10/9 went to mac to have the macvalue lunch (something like that) meal. saw some sort of service that you send sms then able to post your message up on the teebee screen, so tried. *dear did too. lols.

*

11/9 - KORKOR'S 18th!!!

korkor, old liao. must take care of yourself ar!

#

dear bought sandwich for me this time round. after realising he is 'losing' to darling. lols.

HAM AND CHEESE!!! - belly nice!

went to funan again and got class tee settled. after that the few of us slacked at tcc till about 930pm then went off.

our order at tcc.

darling's art piece.

me and dear had arguments, and i ignored him all the way home. but he still sent me home safe and sound despite his tummy ache.

thanks dear. ilu.

*

12/9 -

beautiful lies.

dont ask me what, im not going to elaborate (:

#

met yishen and huee for dinner at fish and co. at imm.

huee say i gained weight while ys lost weight!

*dear!!! seeeeeeeeee i told you!!!

soup, and my passion fruit drink.

mussels.

fish and chips for the two.

salmon for me!

"back off, kids at work!"

*he really accidentally boxed me! T.T

wanted to take a group photo but the three of us bored till in the end we got too carried away to go our separate ways that we forget -.-

*

that's all~

***

you've come to show that you're the one till the end

2008-08-29T13:11:00.000+08:00

something's wrong with my lappy, so im here blogging using dear's com. LOL.

This two weeks had been home late as usual. But sleeping rather early at about 12mn every night. Think now my body got rather use to sleep this early. Lol. I think if were to ask me to sleep at 3or4am again, i might not be able to take it. Haha.

Nothing really happened this few days. But last thursday was rather surprising. THURSDAY. dear should know why. Lol. :) (alhtough i think he had forgotten)

Caught glenn with gf out from school with dear on last tuesday at bus stop, and me and dear are like fighting to take a shot of the couple. LOLS.

heh... sweet eh.

last wed stayed back to work on the TKK poster as miss j wanted it the next day... T.T while we were doing, andrew, the talented artist, aka our 'classmate' got inspired by cindy's wallet and came out with the following product.

*click to enlarge for better view (:

best friend got me kitkat on that day too, and made me super happy for the day :D

below is what i drew on dear's hand on tuesday.

*

this week is as busy, but it is the last week of term3. HEH. yet, there's no different as the class still need to go back to school during the one week break T.T

few days ago we stayed back in school to make some clay thingy and after that, dear and darling both made me clay ring. LOLS.

from dear

from darling

im so fortunate la! =p

about 20plus more days and promos will be here. *faint

time passed rather fast. monday is 3rd month and im very looking forward with dear after badminton with bryan and gang. :DD

shall blog next week again after i got back my lappy from acer (:

not to forget,

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY to MISS J and MADAM WATEE!!! :DD

till then!

:DDD

***

'cause you bring out the best in me

2008-08-18T23:46:00.002+08:00

thanks dear for coming over to bring me to school early in the morning for two consecutive mondays. *excluding last week cause there's no school.

so... i didnt realise a thing till dear ask me what time will i leave house =p

but, we managed to catch sunrise together 'again'! ok, on bus. HAHAH

*blocked by stupud tree.

school was fine except for a little 'funny' things after school. but it turned out to be alright sooon after.

dear is evil today. so am i.

but, in short, the day left a happy happy princess.

*taken somedays ago with dear's fingers as 'curtain'. -.-

busy weeks ahead as promos is drawing near. with extra classes, tests here and there. doubt will be updating much as life is just as normal. (:

*14 more days!!!*

till then.

***
mr and mrs pig.

i lose my smile whenever i lose sight of you.

2008-08-12T23:43:00.000+08:00

remember that day i told you we shall bathed in cold water 'together' i had been really doing so for this few days.

i got so proud of myself and wanted to tell you that this is 'preparation' to be mrs. lim. HAHA.

NOW? i swallowed it down. and laugh at myself for being so stupid.

*

i wanted to tell you. how much i used to want you to fail your paper again, so that you wont go back to JJ. yet on another hand, i hoped you dont for fear you will have to leave MI and ended up 'school-less'. in the end. i chose to wish you to pass instead.

that happened long ago. i chose to tell you before you go for your paper is because i want you to know that since months ago, there's this lady down here wishing that you will be able to pass your paper this time round, and i know that you wont want to disappoint everyone who believes in you; you will do your best.

*

i want to tell you, even if you were to fall again, there still me down here for you no matter what. i told you before, but i just want to remind you again.

even if you were to fall times and times over again, i will still be there for you.

*

i want to tell you, i never find you a lousy boyfriend, even though i felt that sometimes you really dont understand me. maybe im just to hard to understand. so, i dont expect you to change to suit me. but i will change myself to suit you instead.

"you dont have to change a thing, i love you just the way you're"

*

i have so much so much more to tell you. but i think one simple sentence of feelings i wanted to convey screwed everything up.

i dont want to understand what your sms meant. i dont want it to be what i think it is. maybe i will skip school tomorrow for just in case.

2008-08-10T01:13:00.002+08:00

080808

school celebrating national day, so no lesson for the day.

rather fun. first time i felt so... warmed? the whole school is like gettin so high over singing and bla~ lols.

after celebration went to wm to have lunch and movie. miss J joined us too!

was fun and enjoyable although me and dear had tiffs in between.

dear sent me home after that. sometimes, couples do do crazy stuffs together, and we went for 26pieces of nuggets. then home sweet home, and i went for work.

*we both developed phobia after that.

thinking back, should give myself tight slap. but, dear, you cant blame me for expressing out how i feel also right?

*sorry and XOXO.

090808

HAPPY 43RD BIRTHDAY TO SINGAPORE!!!

*

happy ^infinite day today~

went out with dear. was so coincident that we two arrive at je station at the same time, so we boarded the train that i took previously and continue our journey. dont ask me why. when i saw him, i felt as if i havent seen him for a hundred years. :/

my love.

went to marina, wanted to catch fireworks, but it's really so crowded that we gave that idea up and went to catch a movie instead.

had kfc (as usual) for luncner (lunch cum dinner) at marina square.

pretty princess with act cute pig at kfc.

caught 'journey to the center of the earth'. awesome. lols. ordered the popcorn combo, and we got a free banana. LOLS. one thing is, the show was scheduled to be at 7pm, but it actually started at around 720pm -.- that is one thing bad about GV. BUT, the movie is still nice (:

row J!!!

after the show, walked all the way from cityhall to bugis just to find a toilet and to get home. cityhall is far to crowded at that point of time. reached boon lay station at almost 1045pm, dear finished the banana like a chimpanzee *>.<* then hurried see me home and rushed to get the last train. *as usual, we spent a little bit of time before i finally let him home. =p

get what i mean? chimpanzee. BUT I STILL LOVE HIM MANY.

im seriously very happy today. dear didnt read even on train which was kinda totally unexpected. and for the whole day, i really felt as if i owned him. *dear, can we be like this everyday? >.< i mean, once in a while couples need to be like that de ma =p

but nevertheless, every moment with dear is just so :DDD

***

Jolene's property

2008-08-06T23:19:00.001+08:00

i always love it whenever im in your arms.

under my possession

2008-08-04T23:18:00.002+08:00

had been home rather late recently.

today dear surprised me by coming over to fetch me to school :DDD <33

after school, stayed and waited for dear to end his bball training. AND LUCKILY I STAYED. cause i caught him... talking with chio bu? NO. having muscle cramps. and i swear it nearly made my heart stopped beating! wanted so much to dash over and look at him, but i held back.

after he ended, i rushed over of course. wanted to hug him so much... but in school )):

when for kfc afterwards, and home sooon.

*

think, after dear gets committed into cca, he will have lesser time for me. (and maybe even studies) seeing how he trained, is really too tiring.

i think, i can help by being a considerate gf who stops all my nonsense attitude to further tire him out. stop demanding for this and that. and also to take the initiative to study hard so that he will stop worrying about my studies.

BUT, that's ideally. if only they can be done partically. THEN, i wont be me anymore -.-

sigh.

see him so tire, it's really making me so heartpain. ))):
*the amount of tireness is equal to the amount of heartpain experienced*

***

you took my heart away

2008-08-03T23:24:00.001+08:00

i am writing half way, but i saved as draft.

in short, i felt like dying now (:

nothing happened. nothing. seriously.

but kill me anyone? i will be very grateful (:

2008-08-01T23:44:00.000+08:00

hi, love(:

2008-07-29T23:31:00.000+08:00

counting down 3 days!

*

i lay my love on you; that's all i wanna do

2008-07-28T23:01:00.001+08:00

sometimes, i really felt that im a burden to dear.

school, studies and class had like troubling him so much, and yet, im always there to add on to all this shit that he is having.

besides all this, he also has to worry for my safety and studies. and this all made him so tired.

guilty and heartpain. but what can i do to lighten his load?

im... such a useless gf.

when im feeling loaded, he seemed rather relax; but when im feeling rather relax, he seemed so loaded. if i can, i rather carry all his burden with me.

*

what will happen to an overstretched rubber band? it's either it snapped or stay the length after it had been overstretched.

2008-07-27T15:17:00.000+08:00

a best friend of today may not be a best friend of tomorrow.

treasure what you have now in life.

2008-07-23T23:55:00.002+08:00

everything is fine now.(:

i know he meant me good for everything, but maybe, just used the wrong approach.

anyway, was playing with the webcam today. HAHAHA.

bully princess!!!

see you still dare ma =p

*

sunshine after the rain (:

*i need you; more than words can say

2008-07-22T23:09:00.003+08:00

sometimes i hope we can have better things to argue about other than studies, class, school.

based on what i understand from his words, he said i should work doubly hard, so i decided to study 12hours a day - to compensate for my lost my time for the past 6years, and also to catch up for this year.

so, most likely wont be online unless weekend or any important stuffs.

anything, do text me or call me. no guarantee reply though. i have to study (:

*

oh, and dear, blame me not. u choose to open up this topic de (:

i already told you u cant understand. didnt i? (:

you still wanna know how im feeling now?

I FELT LIKE CRYING.

2008-07-22T06:38:00.002+08:00

i hate the fact that i have such clever bf.

everytime i do my work, i will always go HOW THE FUCK DID HE MANAGE TO SOLVE THAT.

and this makes me seem more stupid.

sometimes, it's not that i didnt put in effort to catch up.

but, it's like, he's already half way thru the journey, and im barely starting.

half and hour for 3questions. are they really that difficult or is my limit just so?

~~knnbccb~~

like i have said, i hate myself.

gotta prepare to step into the dreadful place again. (it's 6.39am)

2008-07-21T23:19:00.000+08:00

left with only 63 more days to promos.

die liao.

and friday is meet parents sessions.

anyway, come to a think of it, my results isnt really that bad.

overall, 1 confirmed D, 1 not confirm D, 1 not confirm B, 1 confirm S, and 2 confirm Us.

at least i passed 3? out of which 2 are H2. hahaha.

really much as compared to shitty secondary school results. but of course, i still need improvement (:

63 more days. CHIONG AR~

*

as always, i know how to say dear but not myself.

i told him that it's not possible to get hold of everything in life. BUT, i found out that i myself is trying to. and i think that is what resulted in making me so stress and bla nowadays.

so??? i will try to sort out those which are important and those not so important, then those not important stuffs, then dealed with respectively. and as for now, studies family and bf are on top of everything. followed by friends and etcetcetc.

since i chose this route myself, i should be responsible for my decisions, and give best shots no matter what. there's no turning back for me now. and, neither do i have any alternatives either. so, i shall get my heart focused on studies first, at least, till after promos. *haha.

*

with boyfriend, i cant deny the fact that im really happy with him, but yes, im also pressurized by alot of other factors. which, most are really i think too much and bla.

i think, by thinking too much, i actually didnt realise that im hurting him and also myself, and sometimes, tensing up the relationship too.

for now, i decided to heck care everything, and just let the world revolve around we two. HAHA. too much of this is bad of course, but, to me, it's either i have it totally, or i rather have none. but of course, things might vary. i dont know.

but staying happy is all that matters ma~

at least, *touch wood - and im seriously touching!* even if we cant last, at least, we do know that we once gave our very best, and that we have nothing to regret(: right dear?

but for now, me and dear are still going on strong k =p

all thanks to dear's patient and care(:

p/s 11more days =p

***

im part of you indefinitely

2008-07-20T16:22:00.000+08:00

Birthday.
*this post had been saved as draft since 30/3/08. and my birthday is on 24/1!*

had a kinda normal birthday this year although it's my 18th birthday. no cake no song. hahah.

on the 24th jan, slept till almost noon. and then slack and went out at about 3plus to ys's house to wait for him to bathe and nort.

left his house at 4plus pm and meet nahnah tingting qijun and tw at jp.
*i forget ting got join or not >.<* had crystal jade for dinner (:

$60++ -.-

nah went home after that. and then the rest of us went to je.

went to find hung and (ting??) pool-ed and hotat joined in later.

somehow i made hotat angry. and he really walked away sia!!! )):

then i called him to ask him come back. he say if it's not my birthday, he sure go home de.

heh heh. nice him came back despite being so tire.

forget what we did later. and so... home rather late.

anyway went to arcade and..........

hotat found his brother! *>.<* oh yes. i went to buy cig!!! *I DIDNT SMOKE*

the guys was thinking to buy cig or not. and so i keep asking them to let me buy for them.

went into cheers, ask for the cig BUT the damn person never ask for my ic sia!!!
* i look so old meh ??? )):*

so the conv below started (something like that) -
me : eh, dont need check ic ar??? *holding my ic in hand*
him : -stunned- eh ok la where's your ic?
me : -passed him ic- im 18 today! ^^
him : *and another lady* -use calculator count- eh! happy birthday!!!
me : thanks!!! (:

and. so i got the cig.

heh heh.

as usual, hotat qijun and ys walked me home and jt and tw went to take bus (cab?) half way after walking.

while walking, tw actually smoked TWO sticks. (one right after another)

he somehow psycho (?) hotat and jt to smoke, but the hotat pulled me to the front and say 'dont make me spoil my image in front of py la!'

but then. i stared at him and replied 'you spoil your image long ago le~ =p'

hahaha. it was crap being with them.

in between hotat ask me want share share (cig) not. i looked at him and said ok lo. -.-

but in the end never *both him and me also no smoke*. i am guai de lo~ ^^

me and the three walked to lakeside mrt and then took train home -.-
*waste my train fare for one stop thanks to??? blablabla*

somehow, the only birthday song sang verbally was by qijun. he started to hum then the rest somehow follow...

hotat and ys then walked me to my block and the two WALKED home. (no bus no train no cab *cause no money*)

thanks guys! *i actually spent my birthday with 5guys!*

my first birthday present!!! on 13th jan from jason! (:

25th jan, worked and after that went west coast with honglun to drink. heh heh. i drank two bottles of vodka but he drank only coke. -.- bo bian. he had to drive =p

after that find huee for supper at prata shop. honglun paid everything! eh. i didnt force him to hor~~~

table 13.

overall. i enjoyed my birthday. serious(: *although it's a no-song-no-cake-little-presents* but what matter is. i spend it with all my besties! (except hueehuee and ming T.T)

thanks the following for wishes
- huee (1st, before midnight though)
- yishen (2359 on msn *23/1)
- adrian (0000 on msn)
- Holden (0000 call)
- QT (0000 sms)
- nah (0011 sms)
- Jason neo (0028 msn)
- Noel (0613 sms *and kept flooding me with birthday wishes thereafter =p)
- James kor (0845 sms)
- wenhao (0907 sms)
- Clara (0942 sms)
- Shanker (1021 sms)
- Jiaqi (1021 sms)
- Jin Zhong (1834 sms)
- MUMMY AND FAMILY (1904 sms - this is an idiot sms, yet loved)
- Dolly (1951 sms)
- Hung (2123 sms)
- Ming (2214 sms)
- peipei (1013 sms *on 25/1)

and etc. sorry if i left out ur name. (it's almost half a year ago... so yea. >.<)
but still, thanks!

*next year's birthday... how will it be like?

2008-07-18T23:47:00.000+08:00

i hate myself.

2008-07-16T22:56:00.003+08:00

sometimes, i wonder, what is a leader. someone who lead? someone who give command? someone who order? (and the list goes on)

but no matter what, leader is still a human right? and human does make mistakes? human does have feelings? and for sure humans arent superman. so what's wrong? especially when the world is not perfect. nothing is perfect on earth. NOTHING. (and no one too)

" - Dear. You always make my day up! When you are sad I am, when you emo I emo, when you angry I angry.. But something that I'll keep on, always positive, even if you are negative =) You are you and no one else can replace you in this world. I love you. "

dear, you know, when you are sad i am sad, when you emo i emo, when you angry i angry, when you happy i happy too! yet as a human, i do know you have your negative time, and so, when im negative, you can be negative, but when you are negative, I WILL BE POSITIVE. i have to keep you going! and you cant fall. (because i dont allow. =p )

but, if someday you really fall, i will be there for you to fall on. no matter what you do, even if i may not be able to help, you will always have my support de. so, dont doubt yourself, dont doubt your ability!

must have confidence in yourself! have confidence in what ever you do. because i know you can(: the you i had known is someone who always give his best in whatever he does, and never say die before trying de. so what if the whole world doubted you? i will still be there to support and believe in you!

'things that dont kill you wont make you stronger!'

` being you yourself makes me fall for you deeper and deeper each day. you are you and i got so addicted to you as the days went by. simply irrplaceable in my heart.

ilu ilu ilu(:

2008-07-14T21:43:00.000+08:00

im so sad now ):

i just found out that other than me, he actually had 6 mistresses outside.

YES. S I X.

cant believed right? neither can i.

im like so damn shocked. and HE let the cat out of the bag himself.

one more shocking thing is, ALL his mistresses are in MI! and they actually started out even before we were together.

funny? i actually didnt realised a single thing. i doubt anyone did.

i really wonder how he is able to cope with so many at the same time and still do so well for his studies.

i really cant believed it ): can you?

but, if it's he himself who said it, what more can i doubt?

and he actually told me that he is sleeping with his mistress every single night.

HE EVEN TELL ME THE PROCESS!

first, he will bring her into her room. (and close the door)

second, they will start to take off their clothes. (slowly)

third, they will look at each other deeply into the eyes.

fourth, they will start to stare at each other, from top to bottom, left to right. (and it will continue for quite some time)

fifth, they both will get so obsessed with each other and got tired and???

lastly, LIGHTS OFF.

HE TOLD ME THAT!!!

can anyone believe?

im like so shocked, so disappointed, so sad when i heard it.

but he told me that! HE TOLD ME THAT!!!

not only he kept mistresses, HE ACTUALLY BROUGHT THEM HOME AND SLEEP WITH THEM!

what can i do now? can anyone tell me?

im so lost so sad so disappointed.

i always thought that he will be different from other guys. and??? I AM ACTUALLY PROVEN RIGHT. DIFFERENT. SOSOSOSOSO different.

i really thought i am his only one. i trusted him so much so much. and now, i found out that he actually had 6 other mistresses!!! HOW CAN HE DO THIS TO ME???

now i know why he is so busy at times. now i know why he is ignoring me on msn at times. - I AM ACTUALLY SHARING HIM WITH THE OTHERS AT THE SAME TIME!

i really dont know what more to do now ): to continue sharing a boyfriend with 6 other mistresses or???

can anyone tell me???

sigh.

tell me why!!!

)):

if anyone of you people are interested, you can scroll down for his mistresses' names. but if you all are like me, dont what more to say, feel free to close this window :/ (just in case it spoils your appetite or mood for anything)

names of his mistresses :
- mathematics
- chemistry
- physics
- general paper
- econs
- chinese

*

sigh. and next year, that's an addition of another one - project work =p

***

i dont care what they say; i just love you so

2008-07-11T22:24:00.001+08:00

i am sad.

i am very sad.

i am bloody sad.

i am extremely sad.

2008-07-11T20:42:00.000+08:00

i had been feeling rather down and disheartened for the past week.

i just realised that, for some people, you might not need to work 100%, but u would receive 100% input; yet for some, no matter how much effort u put in, maybe you can only get half.

that's life.

"there are times when life calls out for a change"

maybe, i need to change my current life now.
*and i have alot to change and catch up.

2008-07-09T01:03:00.000+08:00

i think im a bad gf.

i told dear not to bring emotions from else where into us, but i actually do. so bad right? and i only ignored him. *evil gf.

sometimes, i really felt bad and guilty. i will always hurt him knowingly that i did. but yet, what i will do is only to apologise after i done so. how evil can i get?

just now, roger told me 'jackie is a good man, dont scare him off' and i went lols. but if he's really meant to be mine, he wont get 'scared off' yar?

BAD. im assuming. i know everyone has their own limits. BUT... sigh. im not acting like i care.

i must admit, dear had really been very very very patient with me. coaxing me, cheering me in what ever way he could. but... think this bad and naughty gf down here is really giving him a hard time.

but yea. usually, i will only wait till i reflected then apologise, and then, start disturbing him again till he cannot tahan. HAHAHA.

seriously, im really blissed to have such a nice and wonderful boyfriend. (:
*what more can i ask for?

think someday, if i really made dear so angry, he would look like this ba...

=p

ok. im lazy to continue >.<

BUT before i go, dear, this is for you...

HUGGS AND MUACKS.
thanks for being there for me(:

***

every little thing you do makes me fall in love with you

2008-07-07T01:18:00.000+08:00

met dear like finally yesterday (6/7). *sounds abit exaggerating as if i havent seen him for days. last saw him was on 4/7 FOR AWHILE ONLY. but, since there's a chinese saying which goes something like 'one day no see machiam never see for 3years' (direct translation, dont learn!) so, in conclusion, i havent seen dear for 3years. lmao.

since when i became so naggy? *typed so much for introduction -.-

ok, so, we INITIALLY wanted to study, but went over to library, it's full, so we decided that we do not have any mood to study for the day, we headed off too IMM instead. >.< *my idea.

gosh, dear ah! you better stop bringing me go gaigai from tuesday onwards till after promos! *ok, i mean stop ALWAYS allowing me to bring you go walkwalk >.<

*dear, you're not handsome. BLEH.

seeeeee!! the fries almost finished! chicken still not here ):

FINALLY, the chicken arrived.

NOOOOOOOOOO! dear, you're the pig one!

ok, i half forced dear to eat one piece for me. hahaha. i cant finish cause i wasnt really that hungry. -.-

finally, the chicken was left with only bones.

*

dear sent me home after that. and i think he's really worried about me as he kept asking me to tc and not think too much. lols. but dear, i will only not think too much when im with you [physcially] )): *cause you will do all the thinking =p

got some things to tell pig, but think pig is soundly asleep now (and i JUST received his sms!!!), dont know what's wrong with him, kept sleeping and sleeping. not pig also become pig le la!!! roar.

***

you're always there to make things alright
*at least, you will try to(:

2008-07-05T23:35:00.005+08:00

what is love?

when two are in a relationship, they can break;
when two are married, they can still divorce.

marriage is just a piece of paper. it cant guarantee someone happiness forever. neither will it mean that after marriage, the couple will be together always. if so, isnt being in a relationship worse?

is love just about saying 'i love you' to the other parties? or does love meant seeing the person for 24/7? if love is all about feelings, then what is one day feelings are gone? does it mean love does not exist anymore?

somehow, i felt that i had lost confident. sometimes, the oh-so-wanting-to-get-married me actually have second thought about marriage. i cant just get married for the sake that i want yar?

*

the above are just random. but i know i have more to continue, but i dont want to. do ignore me.

nothing happnened between be and dear. NOTHING. no quarrels or anything. im just... not feeling ok. but i guess im alright.

2008-07-03T23:22:00.000+08:00

felt a tap on my shoulder, and am in a who-the-idiot attitude, turned around and tada~~~

dear surprised me while im working today!!!

totally unexpected!!!

lols. after work dear asked me something make me dont know want cry or want laugh -
who will pat-tor so late one ar???

WE lo =p

although it's just simply a supper together, but im really very happy(:

thanks oink for the effort!!! love ya lots.

***

my sweetest ever

2008-06-30T19:24:00.000+08:00

supposed to be at je library studying now. but then... why am i blogging???

Nope, i didnt bring my laptop out.

was experiencing serious tummy ache since i stepped out of house, and finally, i 'gave in' to the pain when i reached library.

- etc etc -

dear and darling eileen sent me home by cab as i wasnt able to take in anymore. eileen paid for the cab fare and insisted not wanting me to pay her back >.<
*thanks darling.

poor dear had to carry me all the way up from cab to my house, including in the lift. yea, use 小悦's (in 'devil beside you') fav. 公主式的抱法 to carry me up =DD

*dear, thank me for allowing you to exercise! =p

after that, dear and darling pei me go see doc. *they insisted or they say they will camp at my house =.=

but, so 幸福!!! got them pei me <33

- etc etc -

so, i got one day mc tomorrow, ~~which means i can skip tomorrow's dreadful physics paper.~~ and, for the next probably one week, i can only take light food, most likely porridge T.T

~~biscuits bread cake milk yogurt etcetcetc~~

can anyone kill me for that??? T.T *i have two diet-controller >.<

i am rather sad that i only get to really see dear for like less than 2hours today))): so, i can wait for tomorrow!!! die also going school =p

AND, dear gave me a rose today!!! anyone believe? although this isnt the first real rose i had received, but it's the first from boyfriend!!! *thanks dear <33

sis say the rose looks like a heart shape. =p

*red - Sincere Love & Respect, Courage & Passion
one rose - Love at the first sight; you are the one

thanks dear, eileen roger daniel ~~kpo~~librarians and some others(:

alright, i will be going to rest soon so as not to make them worried(:

***

Sincere Love & Respect, Courage & Passion, what i have for you;
and i know, you are the one for me

2008-06-29T02:05:00.001+08:00

exams are so screwed... )):

i told dear im planning to skip week3. but, i know that wont happen. dear will drag me to school by hook or by crook. *he's evil.

*

day out with dear - i had always loved it whenever he's there. he will turn everything not right to be right. and i know, i will continue loving it.

im evil to make dear waited for about one hour for me. [>.<]
*sorry pig!!!

ps. 7x 'i love you' to huee!!!
ps2. some things made me wonder... and felt uneasy...

***

i want to stay in your arms and enjoy the breeze longer

2008-06-22T20:40:00.002+08:00

#1 If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
if it's just small things, just give him one or few tight slaps;
if it's big cases, then give him a real hard kick on his **** then breakup.
after that, forgive and forget (:
*but first, he must have the gut to try -.-*

#2 If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
everyone on earth to be happy (:

#3 What will your dream wedding be like?
firstly, there MUST be a romantic proposal - with a 10carat diamond ring, and 999roses.

both sides families must be really happy with the arrangements. i want to hold it outdoor, with flowers (preferable champagne in colour) all around surrounding us. all dearest will be there giving us their blessings (:

yup. those you will see on dramas. HAHAHA.

*the above are just kidding. i like it simple with everyone's (esp both famalies') blessings and i MUST marry the one i love (:*

#4 Are you hungry?
nah. i just ate (:

#5 What’s your ideal lover like?
someone i love. and. romantic, charming, caring, gentlemen *etcetcetc.

ok. who dont want a lover with all the goood points? you also say ideal liao. BUT in real life might not be litat.

HAHAHA. - i love my pig (:

#6 Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
of course it's being loved. yet loving is blessed too! *how possible is it to really find some one you can love?? (:

#7 How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
if it's true love. i will wait for as long as i can(: *maybe even till i die

#8 If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
i will go and find someone i love instead. cause i only LIKE the person - it might just be crush. lols.

#9 Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
eh... give him to me for 24/7 and everything will be fine (:

#10 Is being attached fun?
dpdp - being attached is carrying another responsibility of many things (:

*note : responsibility NOT burden!

#11 How do you see yourself in ten years time?
married to a husband who really love and dote me. probably having my first or second children by then (: being a housewife but not the typical kind. or. maybe working too (: HAHAHAHA. *too many possibilities BUT i want to get married by then for sure!

#12 Who are currently the most important people to you?
BOYFRIEND! family, jians, and all friends (: *that's everyone -.-

#13 What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
SHUNA - JIANHUO #1. loves to ps and she is VERY dirty-minded. but I LOVE HER(:

#14 Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
if im with someone i love, (and love me) i dont mind being married but poor.
*like mama say, you qing yin shui bao - got love drink water full. LOLS.

but can choose, i want to be married and rich (: OR worse come to worst, single and rich (:

#15 What’s the first thing you do every morning?
open my eyes -.-

#16 Would you give all in a relationship?
starting yes. but what after will depend (:

#17 If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
that wont happen - cause if it happened, one will be love, the other merely crush (: OR, both crushes.

#19 What are your friends usually like?
funny, easy-going, DIRTY(-minded).

#20 What type of friends do you dislike?
hypocrite and bootlicker.

The eight people that I have drag down together to do the quiz are:
1. mr. LFP
2. felicia
3. winnie
4. vanessa
5. QT
6. sy
7. roger
8. caderina

***

last day to mug... im dead for history paper tomorrow!!!

2008-06-17T20:24:00.000+08:00

A moment like this
What if I told you it was all meant to be?
Would you believe me, would you agree?
It's almost that feeling that we've met before
so tell me that you don't think I'm crazy
when I tell you love has come here and now.

A moment like this.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.
Some people search forever for that one special kiss.
I can't believe it's happening to me.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.

Everything changes, but beauty remains.
Something so tender I can't explain.
Well I may be dreaming but til I awake..
Can we make the dream last forever?
And I'll cherish all the love that we share.

A moment like this.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.
Some people search forever for that one special kiss.
I can't believe it's happening to me.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.

Could this be the greatest love of all.
I wanna know that you will catch me when I fall.
So let me tell you this.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this...
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.
Some people search forever for that one special kiss.
I can't believe it's happening to me.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.
A moment like this.

***

let's set the limit to eternity;
and make it possible together there

- for baby(:

2008-06-14T00:25:00.000+08:00

this few days, had been experincing mood swings almost every night. (or perhaps it's every night) it had been really fine in the day with dear around, but during the night, it's really unbearable. Most of the time, it's random yet severe mood swings, but there're times when it's course of some unpleasant things.

yet, no matter what happened, dear has been really patient with me, easing me with what ever he can, trying to 'brainwash' the negative thoughts in me away. i think my wilful bad attitude nearly got dear mad last night, yet i know, he is more of worried, and he still calms down to cheer me, and also get my mentation back to present.

i know i got him really worried. and i had been saying awful things which surely gonna hurt him. but, he never blame me. nor did he ever show his attitude or anything. he never did. he will only continue to get worried about me, and finding ways to make sure im ok.

he stood by me and will continue to stand by me. he willing give me his slightest attention. he wants everything to be the best for me. he make sure i go above everything and anything. he wont give me up no matter what. he will prove any of my negative thoughts wrong.

(of course some may think this is just temporary and stuffs, but im sure my dear will prove you people wrong)

ask me why do i love him? read the above again and think yourself(:

*dear, i do apologize for my bad attitude, for being so negative, for saying things to hurt you, for making you so so worried. etcetcetc.

i wouldnt say im going to change my attitude as i dont think it is possible. yet, if we are really able to make it thru, im sure we will have to stay this way till old(:

love, i promise you what you want me to promise(:

***

i love the affinity we shared(:

2008-06-03T12:17:00.002+08:00

One fine afternoon, pig was doing his maths and he solved questions after questions.

"another question!"

"hmmm... how to do huh???"

"aiya~ watch teevee first!"

"eh~~~ i know liao!!!"
*write write write*

"correct or not ar???"
-stone-

"aiya, dont care la, pose for princess to take photo first~ =p"
*bleh*

- The End -

***

<33

i felt like a drug addict